The parallels of COVID and “the Marad” (a not so endearing term used for the Indian men)

This was early May 2021…The second wave of COVID in India was at the height of activity.. oxygen-unavailability, bed unavailability, information — plenty and bedlam — plenty.

Amongst other unavailable- plenty dichotomies, was “love”. Except that it wasn’t differentiable into unavailable or plenty universally. It was about privilege, not of the money-kind, but of having or not having “the privilege of being loved”.

So how exactly do you have the privilege of “being loved”? Most obvious answer is being with your family-of blood or chosen- physically together or remotely.

Well, some humans did qualify the condition. Yet, did not have the privilege. There might be several categories of them, but let me talk about the WOMEN- in a patriarchal household.

So, our milk-lady (well her profession is already shattering the glass-ceiling) occasionally makes a stop in our home , and we (the women in the house- my mother and me) discuss things over chai… pretty much like a cheap version of “Chai pe Charcha”.

And this particular day, it was about “men”.. when she suddenly made a remark- “COVID is like my marad -doesn’t end, doesn’t let live”. (Marad by the way is a not so endearing term used for the Indian men) and then burst out laughing..My mother followed suit, I did too. It was a dark and sad, but nevertheless a good joke. But I found something else in it too — -”literary potential” .

What -a- thought. The patriarchal masculinity is like COVID.

For starters, such men dominate over their wives- much like COVID. Impairs proper breathing. Doesn’t immediately kill, but sucks the life out. Kills initiative to go out and meet people. doesn’t actually love you, but is possessive. Kills appetite and smell- of the good things in life. Hard to find a “purpose of life” after encountering either of the experiences. Mutates and shows newer forms of oppression.

But there are important differences too, at least at an individual level. The Virus either kills or gets killed by you. But women in Patriarchal homes — well, they just make dark jokes about it.

Perhaps it is time for women to do something, make use of their antibodies, not to get immune from, neither intolerant, but more assertive. After-all, we all deserve the privilege of loving and being loved like humans!