Dilemmas and How not to solve them?

In 6th standard, we had a teacher who used “ridiculous” twice in every sentence.It was particularly weird because he was a mathematics teacher, which means he used to just plug in the word between numbers. Take for instance- “Pythagoras Theorem is so beautiful,it’s ridiculous.” In no time, we knew ridiculous was his biggest discovery and his last love, he could never be over it.

For me, the same overwhelming discovery came last summer while learning a course -and it’s spelled “Ethical Dilemma”. We often perceive dilemma for a “decision to be made between two choices” ;What we forget is that the choice, by definition, is between two equally placed values, none overrides the other.

Take for instance-If it is an ethical dilemma, character X-say Sheldon has to choose between “Loyalty” and “Honesty”. Both equally placed on the moral compass. Except that if it is “Big Bang Theory’s Sheldon”, we might actually have some math to justify either choice. But then justification is important, isn’t it?

I remember the Professor’s words clearly-in such questions, what you choose and conclude is irrelevant, what is relevant is how you come to that conclusion, say how you choose loyalty over honesty. And that is the justification. You will get marks on the justification.

But ain’t that life? To choose constantly. Every decision is a choice, ethical or otherwise. So we are moving from one dilemma to the other. The math is that a set of dilemmas adds to become one’s life.

The only catch is there is nobody else except our own selves to listen to the justification and your life is the marks you get-you live the consequences of it; which in turn sets in motion another dilemma- did i do right?

So, people find harbors to place their justifications.

A relationship? That person will keep the justification and argue and nod with you, so as to reinforce your beliefs or change them or whatever- but keep your justification.This is what exactly should not be done. Because in between the larger dilemmas, there will be normal life. Your solution will seem pointless in that period. In this case, you may fall out of love.

I knew a girl in hostel who would never go to mess alone. She said she doesn’t like eating alone, but I figured, it’s the justification. She was underweight and had no appetite, she wouldn’t eat much anyway, but somebody needed to keep the justification. Yes, you are not eating enough!

The only way is knowing what to do with the justification. Maybe write it in a JUSTIFICATION journal. Every door you enter or choose not do, there should be a reason. The reason may not be right, it’s not absolute after all, but you will be consistent. You have a larger umbrella, where you have space for new ideas, and you may even delete some, but overall there is an umbrella.

Sometimes, when we forget the umbrella maybe stay underneath a shade. Don’t walk into somebody else’s umbrella without having one yourself. Your umbrella is where your justification and your integrity lies, it is the solution to your dilemmas and most importantly, the solution to the days in between because it is your story.

ps- my current dilemma is what did I just write? Justification Journal, really? But then publishing it anyway!